I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
