Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
