No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
