it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
