She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
