Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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