i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
