I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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