The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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