Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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