Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
