It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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