I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
