Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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