Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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