He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
