She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
