Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
