ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
