I got chris browned last night
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
