You're completely useless in the revolution.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
