My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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