You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
