Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
