I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
