are you so shy because you have an std?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
