I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
