she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
