Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
North Korea, Best Korea!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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