Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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