I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
