I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
