rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
