highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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