I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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