how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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