i jhust puked up my retainher.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
