she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
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