its not stalking. its research.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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