Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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