It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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