No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
