All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
