I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
