I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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