Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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