Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
whose parrot is this?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
