Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
