so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
