Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.

(619): View more from California

you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS

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(831): View more from California

she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.

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(410): View more from Maryland

just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.

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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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(512): View more from Texas

We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?

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(419): View more from Ohio

I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.

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(818): View more from California

im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds

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